Relationship Problems – 10 Big Relationship Mistakes and What You Can Do About Them

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Life is all about relationships – marriages, families, friends, jobs, teams, etc, are just a few of the relationships we may be a part of. All relationships are give-and-take; and, in all relationships, you reap what you sow. If you are experiencing relationship difficulties, honestly examine your relationships for the presence of any of the destructive behaviors listed below. Identifying and removing, or correcting, the hurtful behavior will open the door for relationship harmony in any type of relationship. Which of these things are you doing to wreck your relationship, or is someone you know doing to wreck their own relationship?

1. Abuse of any kind (mental, emotional, verbal, physical, etc…), including being mean-spirited, cruel, intimidating, or intentionally hurtful in any way is an obvious sign of serious problems. Love and forgiveness are essential; but this damaging and potentially dangerous behavior has to be immediately changed, or removed – an abusive relationship is not the kind of relationship anyone wants or needs.

2. Belittling, insulting, embarrassing, humiliating, or otherwise making someone feel small, weak, dumb, useless, or inferior in any way is another way to destroy your relationship – all at once, or over time. Unless you want to be in relationship with someone small, you should build-up the people you associate with; it gives you a better set of associations, if nothing else.

3. Cheating is an obvious threat to any romantic relationship; but unfaithfulness and disloyalty are deal-breakers in most types of relationships. There can be great rewards to practicing faithfulness in life.

4. Dishonesty, deceit, deception, lies, and treachery of any kind will ultimately unravel and cause bigger problems that the scheme was worth in the first place. Honesty, though sometimes painful, is the best policy.

5. Inflexibility, rigidity, unwillingness, and dogmatic positions keep people and relationships fixated, stagnant, and stuck in ruts. Change is constant; and it’s crazy to think that you can be in a relationship without changing, and being changed by the relationship. The key is to choose the way you allow the changes to shape you by bending willfully and intentionally in the direction of your relationship – creating and shaping yourself, your life, and your relationship as you go.

6. Forgetting dates, anniversaries, favorites, etc, can be somewhat hurtful; but forgetting how and why you are in relationship can destroy it. Forgetting your priorities can cause you to let your relationships whither; and forgetting how you initiated, or won, that relationship can keep you from being able to rescue, salvage, repair, or reclaim it.

7. Inconsideration, selfishness, self-centeredness, etc, can be forgiven; but they can also end relationships. Most people get tired of selfish or manipulative behavior after awhile – like the story of the boy who cried wolf. After awhile, a lack of consideration of others will cause them to no longer consider you. Put energy and attention into others and they will put it into you.

8. Judgment, criticism, blame, or condemnation has no place in any happy life or relationship. The presence of any of these things indicates a relationship in trouble. Learn acceptance, allowance, and forgiveness if you want to save your relationship. Would you rather be right, or happy?

9. Disrespect, including rudeness, insults, and intrusive behaviors, is a good way to show someone that they need another partner. Respect your partner’s opinions, beliefs, person, and property if you expect the same in return.

10. Ignorance, ignoring a person, not listening, paying attention to, noticing, learning, growing, or evolving, may not seem like a mistake; but it is. If something is not growing, it’s dying; and, if you aren’t learning about your partner, your relationship is dying. You know very little about a person when you first get into a relationship. Live, learn, and love.

These aren’t the only mistakes people make in relationships; but they are very big, and very common, mistakes that can ruin, or end, relationships. These mistakes are also forgivable; and anyone is capable of making and learning from these mistakes in such a way as to ensure they never happen again. We can all learn from our mistakes and grow into wiser, happier, healthier people in stronger, happier relationships. Start paying attention to your thoughts, words, and actions; and, if you notice yourself acting out any of these common relationship mistakes, take immediate corrective measures to restore love and harmony where you allowed fear and disharmony to creep in. You and your relationship will be better and stronger as a result.

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